Why I decided to start writing
2025 Feb 16
See all posts
I have always had a lot to say about many things. Most of the time, I
prefer to conserve my energy, be lazy, and just keep it in. I wouldn't
dare risk saying things with words that are not immaculate. I would rather
not say anything at all.
The times that I have explained things with the perfect words, I have felt
truly good and confident. I loved that feeling. And in those moments, I
wished I could do it more.
I have had many intensely emotional moments in my life—some that bring
tears and others that stretch my lips into a smile. In every one of these
moments, when I pay enough attention, I notice a tiny thought crawling in
my mind, shouting in its tiny voice that I should write about it or at
least put into words how I am feeling. It is always hard for me. I brush
it off. Always.
The very few times that I have written, I have realized that I feel
genuine peace and a clear mind. I speak more clearly, and it feels good.
In the moment. Well, not when I look back at it a couple of weeks later
and cringe so badly. Maybe this is why I have decided to start writing a
lot. Maybe I like the clarity and articulation.
I bought my first motorbike in January 2024. I never imagined that I would
be a biker. I only bought it as an investment—and because I could at that
time. The first few days after the purchase, I spent learning to ride the
damn thing. My best friend's elderly brother (who is no longer on
speaking terms with me) taught me.
The first ride was the most incredible experience I had ever felt. Feeling
the sun and the wind blowing in my face. My sweat drying up in an instant.
I felt like I could die at any moment on the damn thing. And still felt
free.
Since that experience, you’d most likely always see me on a motorbike. I
loved it, and I still do. I have had about three crashes already, and keep
riding. My Instagram feed is filled with Ducatis. Am I starting this
writing journey because I love motorbikes? Maybe not.
A couple of months ago, after some good reading, I decided that I would
start taking things more seriously and be more intentional about my life.
Well, I have always been a philosophy guy. I have a different outlook on
life. Well, I think everybody does. But mine has never been a strict,
straight one. It has always been a mixture of little things I like from
others. And I mostly don't care to put it into words because, as I
alluded to above, I fear I may not use the right words. Which may end up
sending me down a deep, dark hole of existentialism. Or at least, I like
to think so.
1. Motorbikes and the Future
I think that in the foreseeable future, I am going to keep riding
motorbikes. And I like to think that I am comfortable with the idea of
having riding accidents that may cost me a leg or two. Most people rarely
lose their hands; it is mostly the legs.
I have noticed that certain experiences in my past and my worldview have
made me more susceptible to nihilism. I have been there many times, and I
have made a decision to aim up—even when nothing and everything makes
sense.
Connection: If I end up in a crash that costs me a leg, I
would still like to keep aiming up. I would like to have some sort of
meaning, still. I have come to accept the fact that bad things happen. All
the time. And when they do, in that instant you have two options; cry and
sob in regret of the loss or cry once and move one without regret. I would
like to choose the later. However, I have noticed that the mind and the
heart often are at war. The mind assures that there are brighter days
ahead but the heart just would not look beyond the moment. In an effort to
convince my heart of that fact, I think I would need some reference of all
the down moment that I have had in the past, remind it that it felt the
same way then, and we still had some good times afterwards. That's it. I
want this blog to be an account of all the striking moments that I have on
this earth so I can refer to as memories are easy to forget by the brain
without assistance. Plus, I think being in a wheelchair while writing
brilliant novels and philosophies would be a good one.
2. Writing Clears My Mind
I have taken on a lot of responsibilities this year, and it gets
overwhelming sometimes. Writing helps me think clearly. It feels so messy
in my head, but when I write it out, it get not easy, but simple.
3. Zooming Out on Life - Science Fiction?
A zoomed-out view of life. At most, I have six
decades left on thisf loating rock. There is so much I want to get
done. So much I want to see, touch and feel.
A lot of offsprings, I desire. AI is advancing very quickly. I don't
want to live forever, but I love the idea of a version of me still being
accessible to my family even after I die—for generations. So they can ask,
and they can have fun with that version of me.
In simple terms: if AI can get so good to the point that it can learn
everything about me—my style of writing, talking, thinking—then I would
love it. And though I don't yet see exactly how that would play out, I
think writing publicly would help make it easier for whatever AI to learn about me.
4. Just in Case Someone Needs It
I think it is good that my thoughts and
experiences could be publicly available to the world for at least a year
(before the domain name expires ofcourse). Just in case someone out there might
enjoy, shed a tear for another smile while reading them. We are humans after-all.
Cheers to more beautiful times. Life is good.
With respect,
E.B
Why I decided to start writing
2025 Feb 16 See all postsI have always had a lot to say about many things. Most of the time, I prefer to conserve my energy, be lazy, and just keep it in. I wouldn't dare risk saying things with words that are not immaculate. I would rather not say anything at all.
The times that I have explained things with the perfect words, I have felt truly good and confident. I loved that feeling. And in those moments, I wished I could do it more.
I have had many intensely emotional moments in my life—some that bring tears and others that stretch my lips into a smile. In every one of these moments, when I pay enough attention, I notice a tiny thought crawling in my mind, shouting in its tiny voice that I should write about it or at least put into words how I am feeling. It is always hard for me. I brush it off. Always.
The very few times that I have written, I have realized that I feel genuine peace and a clear mind. I speak more clearly, and it feels good. In the moment. Well, not when I look back at it a couple of weeks later and cringe so badly. Maybe this is why I have decided to start writing a lot. Maybe I like the clarity and articulation.
I bought my first motorbike in January 2024. I never imagined that I would be a biker. I only bought it as an investment—and because I could at that time. The first few days after the purchase, I spent learning to ride the damn thing. My best friend's elderly brother (who is no longer on speaking terms with me) taught me.
The first ride was the most incredible experience I had ever felt. Feeling the sun and the wind blowing in my face. My sweat drying up in an instant. I felt like I could die at any moment on the damn thing. And still felt free.
Since that experience, you’d most likely always see me on a motorbike. I loved it, and I still do. I have had about three crashes already, and keep riding. My Instagram feed is filled with Ducatis. Am I starting this writing journey because I love motorbikes? Maybe not.
A couple of months ago, after some good reading, I decided that I would start taking things more seriously and be more intentional about my life. Well, I have always been a philosophy guy. I have a different outlook on life. Well, I think everybody does. But mine has never been a strict, straight one. It has always been a mixture of little things I like from others. And I mostly don't care to put it into words because, as I alluded to above, I fear I may not use the right words. Which may end up sending me down a deep, dark hole of existentialism. Or at least, I like to think so.
1. Motorbikes and the Future
I think that in the foreseeable future, I am going to keep riding motorbikes. And I like to think that I am comfortable with the idea of having riding accidents that may cost me a leg or two. Most people rarely lose their hands; it is mostly the legs.
I have noticed that certain experiences in my past and my worldview have made me more susceptible to nihilism. I have been there many times, and I have made a decision to aim up—even when nothing and everything makes sense.
Connection: If I end up in a crash that costs me a leg, I would still like to keep aiming up. I would like to have some sort of meaning, still. I have come to accept the fact that bad things happen. All the time. And when they do, in that instant you have two options; cry and sob in regret of the loss or cry once and move one without regret. I would like to choose the later. However, I have noticed that the mind and the heart often are at war. The mind assures that there are brighter days ahead but the heart just would not look beyond the moment. In an effort to convince my heart of that fact, I think I would need some reference of all the down moment that I have had in the past, remind it that it felt the same way then, and we still had some good times afterwards. That's it. I want this blog to be an account of all the striking moments that I have on this earth so I can refer to as memories are easy to forget by the brain without assistance. Plus, I think being in a wheelchair while writing brilliant novels and philosophies would be a good one.
2. Writing Clears My Mind
I have taken on a lot of responsibilities this year, and it gets overwhelming sometimes. Writing helps me think clearly. It feels so messy in my head, but when I write it out, it get not easy, but simple.
3. Zooming Out on Life - Science Fiction?
A zoomed-out view of life. At most, I have six decades left on thisf loating rock. There is so much I want to get done. So much I want to see, touch and feel.
A lot of offsprings, I desire. AI is advancing very quickly. I don't want to live forever, but I love the idea of a version of me still being accessible to my family even after I die—for generations. So they can ask, and they can have fun with that version of me.
In simple terms: if AI can get so good to the point that it can learn everything about me—my style of writing, talking, thinking—then I would love it. And though I don't yet see exactly how that would play out, I think writing publicly would help make it easier for whatever AI to learn about me.
4. Just in Case Someone Needs It
I think it is good that my thoughts and experiences could be publicly available to the world for at least a year (before the domain name expires ofcourse). Just in case someone out there might enjoy, shed a tear for another smile while reading them. We are humans after-all.
Cheers to more beautiful times. Life is good.
With respect,
E.B